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Beyond the Self with Africa Brooke
Welcome to our unfiltered corner. The voicescapes you'll be taking in are created by myself, Africa Brooke.
In a worldly sense, I am a globally acclaimed consultant, mentor, writer, and artist. My deepest desire with this podcast is to remind us ALL of the power inherent in taking simple, consistent, and often uncomfortable steps towards personal integrity.
I'm all too aware that overwhelm and societal pressures make it easy to become fixated on external influences, tiptoe around potentially sensitive issues and cross our own boundaries in the process. And this kind of environment often leads to self-sabotage.
That's where Beyond the Self steps in to be your guiding light. In this house, we FOCUS ON WHAT WE CAN CONTROL.
I will be using all my intellectual property, training, tools and wisdom to help you in uncovering your own blind spots and learning to tolerate discomfort so that you can rekindle curiosity, creativity, deeper and more intimate relationships, pleasure, play, and a sense of groundedness.
In every episode I'll lay out encouraging insights about our shared human complexities, both messy and fucking beautiful. I really do value a nuanced understanding and more importantly, practical, evidence-based tools and resources to help you integrate the learnings into your life.
If you're looking for an uncompromising approach to personal development and life philosophy, you've found yourself in the right place. Here, we don't hold back. Welcome to Beyond the Self.
Beyond the Self with Africa Brooke
#091 - are you 'protecting your peace' or is it just avoidance in disguise?
I’ve been thinking a lot about the ways we convince ourselves we’re doing something noble - spiritual, even - when really, we’re just avoiding the thing that actually wants to set us free. Like last week, this conversation is personal. It’s present. And it’s pulled straight from the patterns I’ve had to face, and some I’m still facing, in real time. If you’re someone who’s ever thought or said ‘I’m just protecting my peace’ while secretly knowing that something deeper is going unaddressed, this episode is for you.
I asked a confronting question:
Are you protecting your peace, or is it just avoidance in disguise?
And I take us all through the 8 shadowy, often socially-acceptable ways avoidance hides in plain sight. I go into how we cloak it as boundaries, empowerment, self-care, independence, or emotional intelligence.
I speak about:
- The silent treatment as a form of self-sabotage, masked as boundary-setting.
- How we wear solitude like a badge of honour, when it’s actually isolation.
- The self-betrayal of over-compromising and calling it “keeping the peace.”
- The seductive nature of numbing through productivity, fitness, or “wellness.”
- Avoiding commitment and calling it “empowered detachment.” LOL
- How refusing accountability is often disguised as “not engaging in drama.”
- Dodging difficult feedback under the guise of “protecting your energy.”
- And the ultimate intimacy-killer: withdrawing emotionally and calling it space.
I loveddddd this one because I shared stories from my own life, including my past relationships, addiction, healing, and even the deeply internal narratives that still challenge me today. This episode is an invitation to look closely at the ways you might be calling something peace when it’s really just another way to avoid yourself, others, or 'the work'.
If you've been telling yourself, "I’m just protecting my peace", but it doesn’t feel peaceful in your body… this one is for you.
Let me know what lands.
Resources Mentioned:
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You can also connect with me directly over on Instagram, I'd love to continue the conversation with you - @africabrooke or you can email me (including if you have podcast episode requests) at hello@africabrooke.com with the subject line 'Beyond the Self'. I can't wait to hear from you!
PLEASE NOTE: I do not give advice in DM's, emails, or comments, but I'd love to hear your feedback and know what your lightbulb moments or breakthroughs were. It also lights me up when you tag me in the screenshots of you listening, do continue!