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Beyond the Self with Africa Brooke
Welcome to our unfiltered corner. The voicescapes you'll be taking in are created by myself, Africa Brooke.
In a worldly sense, I am a globally acclaimed consultant, mentor, writer, and artist. My deepest desire with this podcast is to remind us ALL of the power inherent in taking simple, consistent, and often uncomfortable steps towards personal integrity.
I'm all too aware that overwhelm and societal pressures make it easy to become fixated on external influences, tiptoe around potentially sensitive issues and cross our own boundaries in the process. And this kind of environment often leads to self-sabotage.
That's where Beyond the Self steps in to be your guiding light. In this house, we FOCUS ON WHAT WE CAN CONTROL.
I will be using all my intellectual property, training, tools and wisdom to help you in uncovering your own blind spots and learning to tolerate discomfort so that you can rekindle curiosity, creativity, deeper and more intimate relationships, pleasure, play, and a sense of groundedness.
In every episode I'll lay out encouraging insights about our shared human complexities, both messy and fucking beautiful. I really do value a nuanced understanding and more importantly, practical, evidence-based tools and resources to help you integrate the learnings into your life.
If you're looking for an uncompromising approach to personal development and life philosophy, you've found yourself in the right place. Here, we don't hold back. Welcome to Beyond the Self.
Beyond the Self with Africa Brooke
#076 - Dark side of dating apps, heartbreak, raw attachment style truths - w/ Rebecca Archer
I have my thoughts about what it means to love and be loved in the modern world. What's the real cost of swiping right? Is there truth to attachment styles or has it become a (Western) collective obsession? Is the dating scene really as demotivating and disturbing as people say?
In this special episode, I'm joined by someone I've wanted to speak to for a while; the ever-insightful Rebecca Archer. Rebecca, a poet whose words bleed raw emotion, shares her battlefield stories from the front lines of dating apps. She talks about the art of setting boundaries, the seismic shifts caused by heartbreak, and how she channels her experiences into her poetry.
Listen in and hear how we don't shy away from the gritty realities of "situation ships" and the relentless pursuit of a connection that's not just skin deep.
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Pre-order my book, The Third Perspective: Brave Expression in The Age of Intolerance
Connect with Rebecca:
Rebecca Archer (Instagram @wandering_in_heels), recently published her first poetry book, Heartbreak, which explores themes in modern day dating. The book documents a decade of being single and is themed around the seven deadly sins of the human heart, such as lust and envy.
Taking some artistic licence, Rebecca repositioned the sin of “pride” in a positive way in the final chapter of the book, interpreting it as the “dignity” she eventually found. By exploring negative romantic experiences and dysfunctional relationship-forming patterns, Rebecca has been able to approach the search for love with more accountability and self-respect.
Rebecca says, " I do hope that by candidly sharing my experiences of modern dating, I will help others feel less lost and alone. I firmly believe that we attract the love we believe we deserve. For years, I thought I only deserved “scraps”, and so that is what I settled for. Once I learnt to stop being turned on by romantic ambiguity, and started to see stability and security as sexy, everything changed. Never forget: you are worthy of love."
You can follow Rebecca Archer on Instagram: @wandering_in_heels
Heartbreak is available to buy now at: wordsbyrebeccaarcher.com
Heartbreak was written by Rebecca Archer. Designed and published by Couper Street Books. Edited by Susannah Saary. Hand-finished in London by Book Works UK.
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You can also connect with me directly over on Instagram, I'd love to continue the conversation with you - @africabrooke or you can email me at hello@africabrooke.com with the subject line 'Beyond the Self'. I can't wait to hear from you!
PLEASE NOTE: I do not give advice in DM's, emails, or comments, but I'd love to hear your feedback and know what your lightbulb moments or breakthroughs were. It also lights me up when you tag me in the screenshots of you listening, do continue!